Handling a toxic relationship

myDelsu News Staff 2

266 5 minutes read

One’s mental and physical health may suffer severely in a toxic relationship, and this is something not everyone can deal with. Toxic relationships may affect anybody, and victims typically have a hard time breaking out if they aren’t entirely committed to doing so.

Mrs. Oluwadamilola Adebola, a married lady, shared her thoughts on the matter, saying that everyone is capable of experiencing a poisonous relationship, but that she herself is unable to. People in such relationships, she said, should not rush into marriage without first paying attention to any red flags.

She said, “As far as I’m concerned, I cannot withstand a toxic relationship, therefore I’ve never asked anybody how they manage them.” Whoever is in a toxic relationship, whether it be a guy or a woman, I will encourage them to end it. Although women are more likely to report being in a toxic relationship, men may and do find themselves in similar situations.

It’s impossible for a marriage or relationship to become toxic overnight, so there must be warning signs early on. Even though guys are good actors, there are some that you could date or court for 20 years and yet not really get to know until you are married. Women, in general, are not good at keeping up appearances for very long. Putting it another way, if you walk on a woman, she will respond quickly, but males will be the ones to apologize since it serves their interests. In general, males are better at maintaining an act for longer than women.

It is better to be alone than to be exposed to emotional anguish, Adebola said, thus she encouraged those in toxic relationships to leave them.

She said, “As for me, I can’t tolerate a poisonous relationship since I am emotionally vulnerable even when it comes to little things.” To be honest, I’m not good at dealing with challenging men either. In spite of popular belief, I don’t think males are naturally attracted to more than one woman. Even though I don’t wish loneliness on anybody, there are things to do in life. I also place a high value on maintaining a healthy mind. Before taking any major action, I always consider my mom and dad’s opinions.

Christiana Maxwell, another female expert on the subject, has warned that toxic individuals manipulate their spouses by making it hard for them to exit abusive relationships. She advocated for those caught in abusive relationships to seek out an exit strategy.

When asked what drove him finally leave his toxic relationship, Maxwell stated, “I discovered someone who lavished me with incredible love and attention. Actually, he was rather harmless. The new guy in my life helped me quickly forget about him. I broke up with him, and it turned out to be the right decision. Toxic relationships are not something I would recommend to anybody. The individual involved would benefit most by ending the connection at this time. Toxic individuals are able to control others to the point that they become reliant on them. Therefore, it is impossible to completely separate from them in this manner. The only option is to leave and never come back. It may be difficult, but for your own mental health, you should cut off any contact with them, even through social media and your mobile device.

Another businessman, Mr. Lanre Adewunmi, spoke on the many degrees of violence and toxic behavior in relationships, advising victims to get out of those where they felt unsafe.

An unhealthy relationship might be defined in several ways, he added. Toxic relationships are characterized by negative traits such as hostility, aggression, dishonesty, and a lack of accountability. How poisonous a relationship is determines the answer. If the relationship ever escalates to violence, I would tell the other person to get out of it immediately. I suggest that couples talk about it. Victims in abusive relationships should try talking to their spouses.

Adewunmi recommended couples get help from a psychologist in order to determine the root causes of the tension and work through them.

He recommended seeing a psychologist, explaining that doing so would benefit all parties involved by allowing the toxic individual to see his or her own poisonous behaviors while also providing guidance on how to proceed. When couples see a psychologist, they’ll get the finest advice possible.

Mrs. Tosin Togun, a relationship counselor, commented on the situation, saying that in order to cope with a poisonous relationship, one must first recognize its characteristics.

Togun explained, “A poisonous relationship is one in which the human rights of individuals concerned are being shortened or not respected regularly as the relationship evolves.” A person in an abusive relationship may experience ongoing emotional and mental depletion. In order to cope with a toxic relationship, one must be aware of their fundamental rights, the causes of toxic relationships, the warning signals of being in a toxic relationship, the reasons why individuals stay in such relationships, and the steps to take to end the connection.

She included neglect or emotional gap, emotional cheating, adultery, inconsistency, aggression, abuse, and violence.

“With all this, it’s amazing that some individuals persist in poisonous relationships, ignoring their pain or disapproval,” she remarked. All attempts by significant others may fail, but knowing why some individuals stay in violent situations will help you assist them. Some individuals persist in toxic relationships due to poor or negative self-perception, emotional/sexual connection, loneliness, ignorance, pride, parental or peer pressure, and more.

Togun shared ideas on how to manage unhealthy relationships.

“Knowing that a toxic relationship can only lead to further abuse in marriage is the first step,” she said. Assertiveness helps also. Parties may discuss viewpoints, pains, plans, etc.

Change is a process, so be patient. Repeat aggressive communication if the first attempt fails. If violence persists following these procedures, victims should physically and emotionally leave from toxic partnerships. This protects their basic rights, heals them from abusive relationships, and allows perpetrators to decide whether they still want them.

James Effiong, a social-psychology professor at the University of Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, said emotional aggression is sometimes preferable than physical violence.

Effiong: “People who are violent in relationships don’t appear satisfied with what they’ve accomplished.” Once they’ve labeled someone a victim in their mind, they tend to mistreat them.

Emotional abuse might be worse than physical violence since physical violence usually damages the body. Escaping is easy. The level of emotional violence may affect a person’s mental health. Mental health is crucial.

The speaker said toxic relationships might be violent or include a victim and a perpetrator.

When both couples are aggressive and abusive, toxicity is doubled. They understand then. Nobody is victim or perpetrator. They always reach a compromise. Sometimes there’s an obvious victim and offender.

Domestic violence isn’t violence against women, but violence against the victim, as some males are victims more than women.

“Most males don’t speak out,” he said. First, include a third party in a power imbalance. The third party should be an influential church member. The third person should have influence over the culprit to advise and enforce respect. The culprit requires treatment. This scenario requires persuasion.

Therapy helps the offender comprehend why the victim deserves abuse. Most abusers don’t care about their victims and only harm select individuals.

He recommended victims to speak out and get support thereafter. Can they? Millions of individuals face violence without anybody knowing. Finally, he or she should consult an expert for aid with the matter.

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